*Editor’s Note*
His Majesty has been under the weather recently, and has asked me to create a post documenting a typical day in the life of Norton the First. This was requested by a young lady that had written to the Emperor as an assignment by her teacher. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and [...]
While it is true that we live in the most vexing time of this Age, and while it is also true that extraordinary measures must be taken, by both the members of our great nation’s constabulary and the masses of it’s citizenship, there are some tactics that exceed even the caution of the day. We [...]
A suspect has finally been captured for the horrendous murder of little JonBenet Ramsey. While the wheels of Justice have, in this case at least, turned rather slowly, it is gratifying to know that the perpetrator of such a vicious and unforgivable act as this one may be facing his due in the very near [...]
The cease fire has begun in Lebanon, surely the first important step on the long and arduous road to peace in that corner of the world. We welcome this change and expect many more days of progress in the near future. The leaders of each country involved in this struggle may avail themselves of our [...]
It would seem that the dictator of Cuba is making a full recovery from recent surgery. We can only hope that this episode has taught him the value that should be placed on life, and that in the future, this new found appreciation will lead to the better treatment of his subjects.
Norton I, Emperor of [...]
We are pleased that the two sides have finally come to their respective senses and agreed to a ceasing of hostilities this Monday next. It is our hope and wish that they see the error of procuring lasting peace through the use of unnecessary force, and that this marks the beginning of a new understanding [...]
It is a shame that decent citizens, those who have never, nor ever shall, harm another human being, are being subjected to treatment the likes of which have heretofore only been applied to common criminals. Asked to remove clothing, discard items of a personal nature, even withholding mother’s milk from infants, all due to the [...]
It is with great sadness that we receive this news from those who care for our Statue of Liberty. The decision has been made by those caretakers, that access to the crown for the purposes of viewing such glorious vistas as are spread out before her, shall continue to be denied to the general public. [...]
We are pleased that Our Imperial domain will be growing in the near future*, thanks to the tireless efforts of the engineers charged with the task of shoring up and increasing the landmass that surrounds the fair city of New Orleans. The citizens of that fine city shall enjoy increased protection from the elements and [...]
After viewing with much delight the triumphant outing at this week-ends golfing contest, We are pleased to recognize and celebrate this milestone in the career of the winner, Tiger Woods. He serves as a shining example of strength of character, determination in the face of adversity, and illustrates in exemplary fashion, the good fortune that [...]