A suspect has finally been captured for the horrendous murder of little JonBenet Ramsey. While the wheels of Justice have, in this case at least, turned rather slowly, it is gratifying to know that the perpetrator of such a vicious and unforgivable act as this one may be facing his due in the very near future.
After much consideration, it has been deemed that the laws of the land, especially where they concern crimes against women and children, are woefully inadequate and need revision to render the utmost in protection for potential victims, and provide the proper dissuasion to those who would enact such atrocities upon them.
THEREFORE, it is our Decree, that from this day forth, any individual convicted of a crime of violence against a child or against a woman, after due process of the Law, shall be sentenced to death, the method of which shall be determined by the nature of the crime and by the wishes of the victim.
Norton I, Emperor of the United States
Sixteenth day of August, 2006
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This most humble one thank His Majesty’s justice and good government. But this most humble one must make certain dissenting objections to His Majesty’s edict, and this must humble one begs His Majesty’s Grace and understanding. Crimes against children are of the utmost horror and of the most damaging to the fabric of this country, but the still greater horror is the instituted killing of men. For firstly, even the wisest judge and jury may err, and death, being irriversible, may make immortal mistakes that otherwise could be avoided. Secondly, our common humanity warrants certain inalienable qualities and intrinsic values upon each and every human being, namely the potential for a change for good and the right to be judged on one’s actions and merits; although death may be a response to a judgement on a person’s actions now, its carrying out on the judged robs him or her of these rights and values and of future chances of salvation. Thirdly, the words of our God teaches us certain virtues, that of mercy and forgiveness, which cannot be manifested in the death of another after his or her own crimes. By adding death upon death, even not for revenge, we ignore the plight for which our Lord died, and our own potential and ability to act better than the very same murderers in our custody. While understanding the indignation of His Majesty at the gravity of the crime and His concern at the justice of our state, this humble one must protest His Majesty’s edict, for all of these reasons and of others unarticulated by this humble one’s meager intelligence.
I call imposter! Surely his wiseness, one Emperor J A Norton, would not speak so much right-wing goobeldy-flap.
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